One is NOT Only

My sister, Niecie, and I went to the National Storytelling Festival in Jonesborough, Tennessee last weekend. We grew up just a few miles away in Bristol but she has lived in San Francisco for 25 years and this was her first visit to the festival. I have already told you more about her than I should. We were in line to pick up our ticket and she said, ” Just speak for yourself not me- you don’t have to tell them our lifestory.” Well excuse me… I did not intend too and we are at a storytelling festival after all!  These are my people.  I have heard the same from my son, ” Honestly Mom, you go into the bathroom and come out with a new friend.” Snarky seems to run in the family. I humored my sister and picked up my ticket and acted like we were strangers. I wandered over to the quilting guild display while she picked up her ticket.  Immediately I was drawn to a brightly colored quilted table runner with  flowers in the middle. I stood transfixed by the intricate detail of the piece.

I heard it whispering to me- “take me home, I belong to you.” I hesitated and just just stood by the piece contemplating.  Sensing my hesitation, one of the quilters came over and told me all the sale proceeds would go to the food pantry. After raising three children as a single mom it has become second nature to scrutinize any impulsive purchase. I realized my sister was standing beside me and she said, ” That is beautiful, it would look perfect on Mama’s harvest table- you really should get it, it is so you!” I love color-  red kayak, turquoise toenails and cobalt blue glass all around my house- I am one of those people strongly influenced by color.  I only like pink on a flower and a certain shade of yellow makes me queasy every time. Everything in this quilt made me smile.

I love a traditional quilt but this quilt was now shouting ” you will be sad if you leave me- take me home!” I told Niecie, ” Yes, I think I will. ” I noticed there was a small signature in the corner- Nancy Wagner. As I paid, I asked the woman if by chance Nancy would be there and she said – ” Why yes-she’s right over there!” My sister knew better than to scold me this time and just smiled as I said , ” I want to go talk to her”.

I introduced myself and told Nancy how beautiful I thought her work  was. I asked if I could take her picture with it and for her to tell me about it. She explained she had special dyes and had hand-dyed the material for the boarder and for the flowers. She said she had decided she wanted to make something different using curved elements rather than just straight lines. I told her I had taken a Folklore class in high school and we did quilting but that was the end of my experience and that was a very long time ago. I asked how long she had been quilting and she said only a few years. She said her mother was a very good seamstress and made all their clothes. I replied that my mother had done that too- even made our winter coats- and we smiled as we recognized common history. Nancy said,” My mother always wanted to teach me to quilt when I was young, but I thought cutting up all that fabric in little pieces and then sewing it back together was just plain silly! What a waste of my time!” We laughed together. I have thought of what she said as I look at the quilt on mama’s harvest table-just where Niecie suggested- every morning when I walk down from my bedroom. Isn’t life just like that- so often what we really need to do is cut it all up and then piece it back together to make something unique and beautiful.

I was trying to make a decision two years ago about whether to leave family, friends, and my job of over 20 years to focus on getting back to a my original career path. I had been offered an amazing job opportunity but it meant moving to a new town. For almost 20 years my priority was raising my children, but they were grown and making their own way. I was swept up in a wave of tears and had decided it was just silly and way too scary to cut up the fabric of my life and start something new. My 25 year old son, Thomas, sat down beside me on the couch and said “Mom- the only reaon you wouldn’t do this is fear and that is not who you are. You will regret it and always wonder if you don’t try this. You need to go.” Thomas was a philosophy major and is often wise beyond his years.

I made the move and yes~more tears have been shed and yet the stitching back together has brought incredible people, places and opportunities. I don’t think my quilt is finished yet – still some more fabric to add and piecing together. I have had to accept that some pieces I thought went together so well aren’t fitting where I planned. But I love the picture that is developing.

One thing I love about quilts is the story they tell. I never met my maternal grandmother but had some quilt tops she had pieced.  It always made me feel connected to her just looking at them. Niecie and I had one finished and gave to my daughter for a wedding present. That old quilt can remind her that she has history to lean on as she builds her own family. I have my new quilt reminding me to keep taking chances-sometimes you have to cut it up and sew it back in a new pattern to open the door to your dreams.